To a future without end
by helloitsme-again
Summary: prequel to We meet again with smiles. Wounds of the heart won't ever go away. This pain will continue to force me into tomorrow. GaaraSasuke friendship fic COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

I blinked as the sharp morning light, that somehow found its way through the large tree arms, hits my eyes. Light, how long has it been since I've last had seen it, felt it burning on my pale skin.

Light with its many meanings, the light and dark, the warm and cold,

the good and the bad.

I had liked the dark, the cold the bad. The dark where I somehow could hide. Push away every memory that had scratched inside of me. In the dark everything seemed like a fake, like somehow nothing was real and nothing ever happened.

Darkness is mainly a place where there is nothing, no light, no vision, and when you tried really hard not even sound.

Yes, darkness had sounded so good, so nice. Darkness another word for freedom perhaps? It didn't really matter, all that matters that there was nothing, no light, no sound, no realism, no corpses, no family, no friends no worries. And wasn't that what people called happiness?

To have no worries?

Slowly I shook the thoughts away. Glaring at the filtering light. It was its entire fault for putting those thoughts in me. Darkness never did that to me. Darkness was freedom, darkness was happiness, and darkness was my last remainder of hope. All gone now, no way they would let me off wandering to the dark again.

Light meant memories, light meant thoughts, but most of all light meant no darkness. Light wasn't freedom, light was only dead parents, blood dripping walls, friends who said they cared and light was most of all, most of all, light was, light meant reality, no more hiding, light was and will be my personal prison.

Slowly I turn my head towards the sounds of worrying voices, the sound of my friends, the disgusting sound of light. I try to sneer, but the light won't let me, instead I feel, to my most utter despise, smile at the voices.

Words forming on my slightly chapped lips.

"The dark is no more…"

**And so starts of the prequel of "We meet again with smiles…"**

**Hope you will enjoy it all, I hope to update soon, tell me how you like it so far.**

**Till then**

**Jeanet aka Jianetsu**

**Disclaimer : don't own Naruto**


	2. Irreplaceable dreams

The night was dark, so dark. The moon that sometimes lighted the dark a little was clouded.

I hated the dark with all my might. Darkness meant nothing, darkness meant no light and darkness meant so much more. If there were light, then there wouldn't be darkness, if there were light there wasn't a need for those who dwelled in darkness.

If there was only light, and light alone there wouldn't be any darkness, and if there wasn't any, no darkness, then there would be no need for those who represent the darkness.

I smile at the thought. That would be a perfect world, a world without darkness, perfection. Perfection would be finally achieved, there for there wouldn't be any need for those who bare imperfection. They would be all washed away and there wouldn't be anyone to say. "Hey, where is that person, you know, the one who is darkness." Because in a perfect world people wouldn't care about such petty things.

They would all laugh, laughs that would lighten up their faces. Darkness will be no more, only light, perfection, the perfect nation, and the perfect world.

A smile stretches my face ever so painfully, no darkness and only light. That would mean, no more dead, no more vengeful spirits and of course, no more Gaara.

Gaara would be no more, which sounded perfect. People will laugh and smile and they would never be afraid to wander at nights when the full moon would light everything. They wouldn't be afraid to run into Gaara. To run into something, or someone dark, since there would be only light.

I smile again.

Someday soon everyone will finally realize how everything worked. They would realize that the dark had to be banned.

I turn my head to the moon and whisper my thoughts to him.

"One day when you and I meet I'd like to tell you about irreplaceable dreams and this reality no one wants to accept."

**Until next time, I hope to make the next chapter a bit longer, considering the shortness of this one. **


	3. Absolutely nothing

Days slowly passed in my once home village. It wasn't like I could call it a home nowadays. Surely Sakura and Naruto never left my side, only to make sure that I wouldn't turn back to my far-gone dreams.

I miss everything I once had. I miss the darkness; I miss the feeling of dark marks slowly in the beginning, but spreading more rapidly at the end, over my body. The purple streaks that sometimes come out when I'm in a real good mood, my eyes that will freeze people in their places.

But most off all, I miss the sound of terrified people before being killed. That sound, like sweet music, was and is all I need to sleep peacefully for about three hours.

I smile at the thought of it all. Sweet memoirs they where.

Naruto is looking at me again now, with those blasted blue concerned filled eyes. Sakura is looking a bit uneasy, that only makes me smile even more.

Sakura, little stupid Sakura. I heard she cried, begging Naruto to promise and bring me back. So stupid and naïve. And Naruto, the always goody, he promised her. And the most ironic of it all, he did it as well.

A frown slowly replaced my smile. He did bring me back didn't he? Why did I even let him bring me back, back to where to many memories lay? Back to this stupid sunny village where in everyone smiled and was happy. Couldn't he just close his eyes for me and let me be?

I take a glance at the blue eyed blond. My smile returning once again. Of course not, he couldn't even let a enemy die. He didn't like the feeling of killing, of glistering blood that slipped trough your fingers.

No, Naruto didn't like the dead; he was the light, the good the hero. And Saukra his whining girlfriend, that kissed him good luck when he moved out, to rescue all those who where helpless.

That makes me wonder, are they a couple? I guess not, they are both to stupid to see it, plus even I would pity the blond if he would turn up with that pink haired goat.

No nothing here in this village is holding me here, nothing, absolutely nothing. Sakura isn't. Nartuo isn't, my house, the Hokage, the memories.

I turn around closing my eyes as I feel the soft breeze sweeping past my face. There is noting I need and no one who can hold me back here.

I slowly open my eyes again staring ahead of me.

Dark red and hypnotizing green, welcoming my sight.

"Absolutley nothing" I whisper

**Sorry for the long wait, school swallowed me for a while etc. Not exactly happy with this chapter, writers block --" …. Hopefully a better chapter next time …**

**Until than….**


	4. Pure Perfection

The sun slowly started to rise casting away all the darkness. A small smile works his way up my face. For the next twelve hours the light would rule. Picking up my gourd I start to walk to a village laying nearby. Why I came here I don't understand. The homes of happy, smiling, stupid naive people, people, like that orange happy-go-lucky person. I scowl at the thought of him, stupid boy, trying to shower me in mushy stories about love and friendship.

I hate that village, still I continue walking towards, slowly, and steadily it's beyond me why.

I pass the guards keeping my head up, pulling my gourd up a little. They ask me who I am. Slowly I turn to look at the guard at the right, I lift my hand, the sand beneath his feet start to grumble and slowly rise. I smile at his frightened face, eyes, so beautiful, fear; I can see it swarming in them. I have to control myself not to kill him right there and then, I will save him for a better time I decided.

The sand slowly returned to his rightful place.

"Gaara." I tell him

"Sabaku no Gaara"

The pitiful guard had dropped down on the ground, the fear paralyzing his muscles. The other tries to open the gate as quickly as possible, afraid I will kill them.

But I won't, I know I won't. After all what tastes better as blood in the moonlight? And right now the sun is glaring down upon me, treating me, as if saying, one single scratch kid and your finished.

I smile back at his glaring face. Only twelve hour left oh mighty one.

I push my way around the now two immobilized guards. The village hasn't changed a bit. Same old happy people, some old buildings, although some seemed to have newer parts of wood marring the old. It seemed they two suffered at least some trouble.

Walking further and further into the village. Still not knowing why I should even enter this place. The sand around me is softly sizzling in my discomfort. The leaves are slowly moving back and forth in the small summer breeze, birds sing their annoying songs high in the trees and I keep on walking.

The wind is now pushing me, I can feel it clearly now. I turn around and snarl at it. It was his fault. His entire fault, from the beginning it has been pushing me in this direction, knowing I hate every single minute of it.

The wind smiles back at me plays with my hair, my clothes, softly caressing my cheeks. The bastard, it knows I hate this place, it knows I can see prey everywhere, but unable to kill under the sun's watchful face.

With one last growl I turn around and walk further, the soonest I leave this place the better, I guess.

I guess?

NO! I know it is the best. Grabbing my head forcefully I stumble on. Ignoring the teasing laugh of the leaves, ignoring the stinging fingers of the sun. Just walk, keep on walking, further and further away, and soon, soon you'll leave this place.

Stumble further and further along the path. Struggling for every single breath. I'm almost at the bridge now, the bridge that leads to the end of all this. Only a couple of raising and putting down my feet, away. I turn the corner…

Suddenly the wind goes away, leaving my oddly alone and able to breath again. Confused I raise my head; it isn't likely for him to suddenly leave. Only than I see them, standing on the bridge is team-orange-carrot. The pink haired goat is looking kind of afraid, even the carrot is looking kind of scared to me. Looking further I see the last one of their blasted team.

My smile crawled back where it belonged. I've found their reason of fear. Their standing with his back to his team, his mouth curved in, what others should call a twisted smile, to me its pure perfection. Quietly I walk closer, stopping at the beginning of the bridge.

The wind has returned, the sneaky bastard. I smile as it twists around me, before softly sweeping the black hair away. As in slow motion he opens his eyes, locking them with mine.

Eyes, so empty,

pure perfection.

**To somehow make it a little up to all of you another chapter. Still not that long but longer than last chapter right? Hope to write more soon.**

**Till we meet again…**


	5. a perfect day to smile

The mint green kept me hypnotized for seconds, probably minutes. The feeling of someone else's presence broke the strange connection off. I can Hear Sakura and Naruto already yelling for our sensei's lateness. I turn around forgetting the red and green altogether.

Yes, I didn't remember them at all. Giving my head a little shake I turn half of my attention to the blabbering of my team, the other half sticks where it always is nowadays. Better times, that is where they are. Times spend in darkness and purple. My lost smile finds its way back to me. Better times indeed.

It seems they stopped they're little morning, yelling ritual and started walking out of the village. I follow, like the obedient little puppet I am. I sneer at their backs, stupid people, stupid controlling freaks.

Stupid obedient me, why couldn't I just break all bonds with them? Return to what I want, to feel what I want to just be that thing I got so comfortable with. A ruthless, killing, psycho monster, I guess Naruto should call me something like that.

Kakashi is walking next to me now. His one visible eye colored with concern. Concern for the psycho Uchia. I give him one of my innocent smiles, which I know makes people uncomfortable. It even used to freak Orochimaru out. I smile even wider at that thought, he did seem afraid of me somehow. I lock my eyes with my sensei's one eye. He gives a nervous smile back in return.

Perfect, so scared, so sweet. I glance up innocently at him.

"Are you scared of me Kakashi sensei?" I whisper.

He stops walking for a moment. Frozen in place by my glaring red eyes.

He mentally shakes himself. His eye moving rapidly for one second, I see it anyway.

"Of course not Sasuke-kun, just wondering if everything is alright with you."

It takes a lot of my self-control to not let my wicked smile slip on my face. It would defiantly freak him out.

I look at him again, this time being careful not too let any information been seen in them.

"I'm fine." I answer

He gives me another nervous smile before slipping back to Naruto and Sakura. I smile at their backs. So afraid, all so afraid, it taste sweet, their fear that is. All so afraid of me, every single one of them fears the only sight of me, afraid I suddenly snap and kill them all much like my brother did. And they where right to be afraid. The thought of just killing everything had come in my thoughts more and more often these last weeks. Especially that 'team' of me, especially the pink haired goat, with her constant nagging and 'sasuke-kun please smile for me' shit.

Oh, sure I did smile for her, only not the smile she hoped for. No, I smiled like I always do now, sweet, innocent, deadly.

She coward away from me, hiding behind Naruto, who started to yell at me, before he too was caught in my smile.

Did I mention I love to smile? I always smile when I have pleasant thoughts, pleasant memories, when I snap ones neck as then I am truly happy.

And I smile; I smile when I see him.

Gaara

How perfect he seems, he seems as someone who loves to smile as well. I bet he smiles a lot.

Itachi, he also liked to smile, he never smiled often, but when he did, it was perfect. I hated him before, hated him for killing my family. But now, now I understand him, I understand him completely, who didn't liked to smile, to stare down in fearful eyes and just smile at the dying sounds.

I slowly close my hand around one of the many daggers I carry around these days. I let my thumb slide over the perfect smooth blade. Slowly the red blood flows out, I smirk at the feeling, to long I have been without this feeling.

The wind strokes my hands, telling me that whatever I shall do it would be there for me. I turn around, looking at my team, the wind gently pushing me, telling me to get over with it. They stopped walking now; I look at them, my smile growing intense, as I leap up, dagger first…

Yes, today is a perfect day to smile.

**Am I evil to stop here? **

**Probably…**

**Ow well smiles until next time **


	6. Come and take this hand

I watch them all walk away, he following like a beaten puppy. No, more like a tool. Something that you can carry around, depend on it to be there, use it, than watch it break and throw away. Tools, some ugly and rusty, others beautiful carved, sharp and deadly.

Yes, deadly and sharp he is. He almost walked out of my sight by now. But I can still see it, deep in him, he longs to kill, to see their fear, taste it, drink it like water. Almost like I would do,

almost, yet not completely.

I'm still used, still being cared for, he's about to break. A shame really, now I can only watch him break further, instead of seeing the first cracks that would appear.

So beautiful, the eyes of someone, who's about to break so desperate, fearful and useless.

But he, something about him, I can't pinpoint what, is fascinating. Something in those broken eyes is so perfect. Maybe it's the way his eyes spring from black to red and back again. Red, like beautiful flowing blood.

A twig snapping under my feet brings me back out of my musings. Somehow I've been following the dream team in their tracks. Keeping enough distance so they won't notice me, but close enough to see them al perfectly.

I grin as I see their Sensei trying to talk to my little tool he backs away soon after. Pathetic really. Did he really think he could mend him again? Work away all those cracks that have been carved in him?

I chuckle softly, and with me the wind, stupid, cunning friend. I hate him, but deep down, I think I might enjoin his twisted humor. He whispers in my ear, telling me about his plans, of what he is about to do next. I smile politely at him, though; I can't understand one thing he's so desperately trying to tell me.

He leaves just as quickly. I can hear his silent approaching of another.

I smile again as I see who he choices to annoy now.

Sasuke, my soon to be broken tool piece

I strain my ears to catch the conversation between those two. I creep closer and closer. Close enough to kill at least one of the oh-so-perfect-dream team. But I keep my lust to myself.

"_Wait"_ I tell myself. _"Wait until you see what kind of twisted plan our sneaky friend came up with now."_

So I wait, patiently to see what will happen.

He's taken his dagger out now, caressing it with so much love it almost hurts my heart, almost.

I catch a glimp of his broken eyes. Perfect, so perfect, they flicker from black to red, the smile on his face so innocent and perfect.

Deadly.

He leaps up now. My smirk widened.

"_Please, go ahead, kill them all" _

I close my eyes to fully enjoy the terrified screams of the three before me. My smile never slipping away, soon their beautiful singing will fill the air around me. The wind has returned to me, whispering cruelly in my ears.

"_Sayanora, Gaara-kun"_

I open my eyes in shock, taking in the sight of two tools hurling towards me, one glittering, marred with red blood, the other damaged, but deadly.

Bracing myself for the impact I smile back at the one tool, his smile so perfect carved,

When he almost can plunge his dagger deep in me I look up. Meeting his eyes, they are filled with an odd mix of hate and peace. I gently smile at him, encouraging him to move faster, to come closer…

Closing my eyes again, waiting for the surely end of it all, I become silent, quite, slipping back farther and farther.

Seconds passed, probably minutes, when I open my eyes again it feels like waking from a deep slumber. Everything is silent around me, Sakura, Naruto and that Sensei person are all staring at me. Eyes wide and unmoving.

The wind laughs softly in my ear, but it isn't in an unpleasant way like before, its peaceful, and distant but still close.

As I avert my eyes back to the scene before me I notice why. The two tools stand before me, as in a smoothly carved statue. His eyes still flaming red, but his hand no longer stretched out in a deadly maneuver. It has slipped back to his side, the dagger slowly slipping from his blood stained hand.

He raises his hand, staring at it, as if he can't compress the idea of having it colored that color before, his lips moving, without saying anything, still staring unbelieving at his scarred hand.

After a few seconds I find myself staring as well, the liquid clearly hasn't come all from his small cut on his hand, nor did it come from any wound inflected on me, as I have none. My eyes flicker back to his stupid team, it all clicks then, smiling I turn around.

"_Always playing the hero huh?" _ I say.

The carrot is glaring at me, his hand pressed to a shallow wound on his shoulder. Such a fool.

"_You should let the predator take his prey, no matter what."_

He is clenching his hands right now, how easy he is to work up. He clearly is screaming things at me now, as I can see his mouth stretching open, his eyes closing and filling with disgusting water. I pay no attention to him what so ever; instead I turn back to my little tool.

Looking up to his eyes, they where colored with such a deep sadness, I wonder how much pain he is hiding behind them. I raise my hand and softly touch his with mine.

"_Don't be dismayed in this stimulated world."_ I whisper, _"Come on _

_Sasuke-kun, open your eyes, and take this hand. It's right now the perfect point of limitation, let's burst together to the completed field." _

**Okay, that was long, for me anyway, there where so many points I wanted to stop, but alas, its been way to long since I last updated, again, hope it makes a little sense, its kind of more the feeling I wanted to bring over in this chapter, critique, questions etc. are always welcome**

**Until then **


	7. secret tears

Days passed since I so called snapped at that day. If you'll ask me noting serious happened. Naruto only had a small wound on the shoulder, Sakura? She's probably brain damaged by the fact, her perfect stoic, soon-to-be-boyfriend attempted to kill another human being. I sigh and angrily close my eyes; I defiantly should have aimed at her. But then again, security would be even stricter by then.

I take a glance at one of the anbu, he's looking at me in a way that is supposed to be nonchalant. Though I can see that all his muscles are cramped together, terrified of the little Uchia prodigy who's gone crazy. I grace him with one of my smiles. Seconds later he's gone, replaced by an other.

My smile widened, that was almost too easy.

I softly leap down the roof and start wandering around the village. Anbu members never far behind. I lift my eyes to the sky. I could have killed him that day, Gaara, perfect composed Gaara could be eaten by bugs right now. But no, instead of killing, I hesitated, giving Naruto the change to stick his nose in my business.

Why did I stop? Why did I hesitated, its probably the eyes, they reflect everything I am. He, like I, got the eyes of a tool. He to knows that one should be used, broken and thrown away. Yes, that would probably be it.

I grin as I notice the looks people are giving me. Looks, filled with hate, despise but most of all fear. Oh yes my little village people, hate, despise but most of all fear me.

Would he fear me as well?

No, I shake my head, no he would not fear me, only encourage me to carry out all my sick little thoughts I have in mind. Much like Orochimaru, but different in the same way, Orochimaru would consider first if a plan was in benefit with him, Gaara, he would just like to see their fear, hear their breaking bones, taste their blood. Yes, Gaara, he and I, we are the same.

The leaves whispering, giving all their own opinion about the topic, all desperate to tell them their individual thoughts.

"_Leave!"_ Some almost scream _"Leave, before its to late, before he's gotten into your head like Orochimaru, before you kill your once friends" _

I chuckle at their lame attempt to stop and seek contact with the redhead. Did they really think he cared about his former friends?

No, I didn't care, hell, if not for my stupid hesitation they would be all laying in a puddle of pure red, by now the color would be a dirty brown, almost turning black, birds would tear of their flesh, and they would been found by the same anbu who where scared away by one single smile. They would probably cry, tell him that he survived another brutal murder, they would pity him, shower him with gifts, on their funeral, I too would be wearing black, but unlike the others I would smile, I would laugh. They all would think I lost it finally now, giving me more compassion than before, never even thinking about the possibility that it was me all along. Never considering that it would be me that murdered their poor children, never thinking that it would be me that made every woman lose their husbands, never even daring to think it was me all along, for I was a victim, and not the causer of it all.

I shake my head to get ride of all these fantasies, beautiful fantasy which would never come true, well, not for now anyway, to much eyes that where looking at him.

The leaves chuckle at me, shaking their head at the false hopes and dreams of me. No, now is not the time to think like that.

The sun makes place for the moon, setting everything in a dark silver light. I glance up at his face, he desperately tries to hide, but the few clouds that are mare the sky are not enough to block out my sweet smile.

"_Are you scared little moon?"_ I whisper _" Scared for me? An Uchia? Or are you sacred of me, Sasuke, a tool that's about to break?"_

He quivers in the sky, averting his silver beams away from me, to one of the higher hills surrounding the village. I look at it, the hill looks almost like silver in this light.

Without knowing why I walk towards it, the anbu long since gone, back to their houses and families, according to that stupid hokage I won't do anything drastic in the night, she probably thinks I'm to proud to kill when the prey is sleepy, how wrong she is, but not now, maybe later, right now I close the distance between myself and that silver hill.

Minutes later I find myself standing on that same hill, staring down at the village beneath me. It looks so peaceful right now, so perfect.

Soon I find myself pushed under in a sea of memories, memories of better times, times in which I still was a person, instead of a tool, memories in which I would laugh and smile, and people would not scare away from me, instead picking me up, telling me that I mattered. As soon as they came, they left, bringing forth more recent events, Orochimaru whispering in my mind, Itachi smiling softly down upon me as he watches my parents die, My farther as he walks away from me again. Myself, my eyes broken, not a person anymore, only a tool to use and throw away, tears treating to spill, but knowing that tools don't cry.

Silver streams down my cheeks now; I raise a shaking hand to touch the liquid.

I'm crying?

"_Tools don't cry."_ I tell myself. _"Tools are meant to kill, tools aren't meant to feel."_

The wind has returned again, his voice hard now, almost screaming in my ears. The leaves screaming with him, all I can do is stare blankly in front of meI close my eyes, put a hand to my chest, chidori slowly starting to form, and think back to those days, even supposing it's that morning on which I held back secret tears, looking ahead, I spread my arms, and bid farewell to the past even supposing it's a future with nowhere to go, that holds more secret tears.

**Well, won't you look at that, another chapter down and not even a one-month break between it. I'm so proud, cough anyway, a slightly darker chapter I guess, more to come between now and soon. **

**Until then**


	8. Already Broken

The silver light of the moon is a welcoming sight; the sun has been ruling the day far to long by now. Days passed since my little encounter with my little tool. I've been avoiding him for a long time now, though it takes all my willpower to do so.

How I love to see his broken eyes, the pathetic attempts of his teammates to try and mend to broken tool. Its stupid really, don't they realize that when once broken nothing can make things whole again?

I notice the moon averting his gleaming light to a hill not far by. I smile at his attempt to try and escape something that clearly unsettled him. Stupid thing, it would only encourage the causer to do and try it again. Leaping off the tree I used as my resting place for that day I walk to the hill.

Wouldn't it be interesting to see what the cause of the moons discomfort was?

So I keep on walking, sand moving lazily around my feet. The leaves whisper their opinion about one or another, I don't really notice nor care. All that's on my mind is to find the causer of the moons discomfort. To see if maybe, maybe that something is worthy enough to compete with me, worthy enough to be splattered and absorbed into my precious sand. I move faster and faster, the wind silently urging me to move as fast as possible to that hill.

"_What's wrong little friend?"_ I sneer at him _"are you afraid as well?"_

He answers back, screaming, yelling at me. But all I do is smile, I will ignore him for now, that will teach him, playing games with me, stupid naïve friend. He doesn't like to be ignored, screaming harder and harder, I only smile.

"_Patience my friend"_ I tell him _" Patience, soon I'll reach that place, soon real soon." _

Clouds are rapidly flying trough the sky in a desperate attempt to try and escape the scene I smile and move in opposite direction, faster, faster, quick now before it will be gone, gone with the beaming lights of the moon, gone with the razing wind, gone before I got a change to see it.

Trees wisp past as my speed increases reaching almost my limit, the sand clinging to my feet, afraid to lose their master, but I won't stop, not until I meet that something, that thing, up that hill.

Well moving faster and faster I let my thoughts wander around freely, something I try and do as less as I can. Tools shouldn't think that much, just do as your told, having second thoughts would make you a stupid useless tool. But for now, it didn't really matter, no, for the moment I will pretend that I was the one controlling a tool instead of being one. I, for one, could pretend that he would be my little tool. I grin at that thought, wouldn't that be wonderful? Controlling and using my little tool, break him further, and than, when he was totally broken and useless, throw him away without a second thought. Or, I could hold him somewhere, keeping him secret and safe from all the prying eyes, watching him, his broken eyes turning to me without seeing me.

I smile at these delightful thoughts, a tool ruling another.

Me the sun, and you the moon,

And when you are near to the dark, I will tell you about the sun. You are there in my little secret place, with no escape from my visions of the world, and you, you might cry all alone, but it doesn't mean a thing to me. No, I will sing a little song for you, till the darkness comes to sleep, I will tell you the secrets of the sun, that he is in you, not in me, but you wouldn't care. You wouldn't care that the sun is in your eyes, not even trying to tell me that me that you are more like the moon. Because you can't see the sun, not even in the darkness off it all, and it doesn't much matter to me.

Without realizing it I've come awfully close to that one hill, I walk slower now, careful to not disturb the thing that would be surely still on top of the hill. The wind screams hard, but not to me, probably the thing that is a couple of meters away from me now. I strain my ears to pick up a few words

"_don't.. …. It……stop…..come …. Sa….. can't……tur…." _

Shaking my head to clear the useless rambling from my ears I push my way through the bushes, only a couple are left between me and the thing. Almost now, controlling my body becomes hard now, I wan't so much to barge in and take sight of that thing, but my mind knows that when I move to fast it would leap up and leave, letting me stare at its back, never finding out its identity.

Slowly I move forward, only one brand is blocking my way by now. I raise my hand, my heartbeat wanting to speed up, I force it down again, slowly now, I can hear the wind still screaming at the thing in front of me, the leaves yelling, although their high pitched voices are more like broken flutes, high, hurting your ears when focusing on it to much, and birds, so many birds, screaming at the top of their lungs.

Birds?

It can't be right? Its night, birds sleep at night, that is something that would never change, sleeping at night before waking up with the sunset, screaming with their ugly voices.

" _Rise and shine Gaara-kun, rise and shine." _

Then I would look up to the trees, glaring at them, They would fly away to wake up the next person, but never before I killed at least one of them. I chuckle slightly before remembering the whole bird issue.

Moving away the branch I'm met with a sight I could never whished for.

As for me stands my little tool, hands filled with light, slowly moving it towards him. I snarl as I realized that if I moved faster,

if I would have listened to the wind,

if only I would have increased my pace instead of slowing it,

I wouldn't have missed it,

Standing before me is Sasuke-kun,

Already and utterly broken.

**Okay, yay not a good chapter I think, it's written with about three breaks between it or so. Also I meant to make it a little longer, letting Gaara talk with Sasuke ect. But alla it's the best I can do for now as I'm going on vacation tomorrow, so I shortened it a bit. **

**I try and make the next chapter as soon as I'm home, or at least that week ; and make it longer plus give it some interaction.**

**Okay, you all know the drill, for questions, critique ect. Just review and I'll answer in about two weeks.**

**Until then**


	9. Still Useful

The blue light reflect in my red eyes, so tired, just so tired, slowly I raise my hand, the blue light chirps softly, my very own funeral song. I smile at the small sparks who found a way to escape the bigger and stronger one.

"_This is it Sasuke" _ I tell myself. _"This is it"_

I close my eyes with the wind still screaming in my ears, one last glance at the village beneath me, one last look at the shimmering moon, one last glance to everything I've grown so close to, one last look with these cursed red eyes, before I will close them forever.

Slowly, but steadily I raise my hand again, the blue light shoring my shirt, heating my flesh, it won't belong before it will burn a hole trough it, burning away, bones, muscle and organs, perhaps even my heart, if I still have one left.

I raise my hand to move it fast towards me, be quick now, before I hesitate again, just like I did when killing Gaara, be quick, be fast,

I raise my head to the moon, giving it my one last smile, the blue light dies, and the chirping disappears with the wind.

The pain I expected doesn't come, maybe its painless?

No….

NO, no it can't be painless, everything, everything is painful, and sure a orb filled with lighting should hurt more than anything. But it doesn't, it doesn't hurt at all, slowly, blinking I open my eyes, the remainders of my secret tears still wet and salt on my cheeks, the moon still glowing softly, the village still sleeping, the wind still screaming, those things still around my arms. Nothing has changed, I'm still here.

Things…

Things around my arms

I drop my gaze to the things, as they are too strong to lift my arms

Hands, they are hands, pale small hands, holding my hands tightly, hands that killed the murderous light in my hands.

Shuddering I let my head fall on my chest, some one must have followed me, someone must have seen me breaking apart, someone pretended me from putting the light in me. Some one…

The person behind him chuckled softly; he could feel his chest rumble like a small earthquake. Somehow it was a calming feeling, the earthquake feeling made him remember his better days, days in which he was a sharp tool, carved with care and precision. Days before he was taken away from his purple bliss. Good days, better days.

Yes, those days where filled with pure bliss, with heart tearing screams, filled with the sound of dieing voices, days filled with smiles, smiles so much that it had hurt the muscles around his mouth, pain that was sweet, sweeter than anything imaginable.

"Poor little Sasuke-kun." He whispered. "Life to much for you?"

I raise my head so fast I can hear my bones crack in protest. That voice, defiantly his, for all people that could find me it just had to be him didn't it? He just had to find me, the Uciha prodigy, broken crying like some stupid child.

Grinding my teeth I can hear the wind, laughing as well. That bastard, how I loath that stupid thing. Fist curling in my flesh, drawing blood in the progress, but I don't care at the moment. On the moment I have more pressing problems. Stupid wind, stupid Gaara. Yeah just you all laugh, laugh at that stupid Uchiha tool that broke, broke, crumpled.

I can feel my daggers, all packed close to my body, if only, if only he loosened his grip, I would prove, I would prove that broken tools can be dangerous as well.

I strain my back; the grip around my middle becomes tighter. The wind laughing hard In my ears, even the moon, who coward away from me just minutes ago, laughs hard, high, shrill, like metal scraping on metal.

Struggling is useless I realize, useless, just so tired. I faintly are aware of the fact that my head slumps forward again, the saltwater flowing freely once again. Just so tired.

The iron band losses slightly, feet glide over the long grass, slowly, almost carefully, the red one sets the black on the ground. The wind laughing hard runs away, eager to tell this gossip to anyone who wants to listen, he broke, that stupid boy broke, broke, broke…

The moon forced to leave let his silver beams wander over the two tools, so stupid, so broken, smiling he continues his way, he won't have to fear that broken thing again.

The grass around the two first yells in protest, how dare they set down upon them, bending their heads in unpleasant poses, marring their perfect green bodies with ugly dirt. Then they felt it, water, its been so long since the last rain had come, but this, this is even better than water, pure life-force drips down on their eagerly opened mouths, begging for more, to last forever, so sweet, so good.

Sobs racks his broken body, I grimace, if only I came here sooner, than I would have been the witness of his first strangled cries, then I would have been the first to see him break down. Now all is left is his broken form, gone are the sweet smiles, the swirling eyes, the innocent face, gone. I had hope that maybe, so where deep down in him, he would have some sharpness left, he struggled, for some reason it was all so wonderful, then, as suddenly he collapsed, gone, broken, rusty.

I hold him up right, let his tears feed the ground; I can hear the laughter of the grass below us, celebrating, cheering.

I set myself down beside him, gazing down at that filthy village. Lights flicker lazily, sometimes flaring up as the wind passed by. I sneer at their eagerness to hear the gossip the wind spreads out. No one, no one should be happy when a tool broke, they where useless then, you should be happy before they broke, you should smile when you see the first cracks, you should laugh as you see them struggle to stay intact, you should respect them when they held on, struggling, falling, and then, when they broke, you should leave them alone, after all, what fun is it to pick up the pieces? Its way more fun to break than to mend, no, that would be to job of stupid, naive people, like that Naruto, like that whole stupid village down there.

I frown, than what am I still doing here? Supporting a broken tool. Disgusted I pull away. Really what's wrong with me, staying close and holding up some broken pieces? The sand swishes angrily around me, probably offend that it came in contact with something not worth looking at.

He suddenly stops with the pitiful act. He lifts his head from where it hung, water still marrying his cheeks. Pitiful, but something in the way he stared at the village below, something in those eyes. I draw in more air than I need to keep myself alive, although broken, his eyes still hold that red light, still they are filled with the urge for shedding blood, still, so how, intact.

I smirk, perfect, this is more than perfect, my little tool, broken but far from useless, the broken fragments still able to draw blood when you try and touch it, still useful for a while, absolutely wonderful.

**Yay I'm back. Well anyway here's another chapter, I know I promised more interaction between the two but alla, things never work out how you want it right? Well it probably could work the way you want, but then you need a lot more of planning, and I'm one that just loves to just write and see where to story gets you. Anyway hope you all enjoyed this chapter, you know the drill, for questions, critique etc. just review**

**Hope to write more soon**

**Until then**


	10. Are you ready?

Looking down I can see the still slumbering village, it won't be long before the Anbu would wake up and come join me again. They surely will be pleased to find me like this. The would smile nervously at me, trying to decide what to do with me, Naruto would come over, trying to assure me that I was still possessed by Orochimaru some how, but that I was save now, that I was with them, that there would be only light from now on, no more blood, no more dead bodies, no more.

Sakura would come soon after, crying, clinging to me, and promising me that she never stopped loving me. And Kakashi? He would probably stare down at me, curving his one eye up, patting me on the head like some lost kid.

They wouldn't stay that way, oh no, they would try to make me respond to them. Make me spill out secrets I kept so well hidden, secrets about Orochimaru's next attack, where my brother was.

Itachi…

And then, after days, maybe even weeks, they would all give up, I'll probably get transferred to some hospital, or a lab, yes a lab, to try and find out what had caused the Uchia prodigy to break down like that.

Testing me, analyzing me like some obscure lab-rat, until the day came they found me not breathing any longer, just sleeping peacefully without being able to sit up and open my eyes again, I think I prefer to die in my sleep, yes that, that would be perfect.

Can't you picture it all?

Years passed, the experimenting has developed in a giant project; doctors and medical nins would come from over the whole world to see the broken doll. A doll I would be, a doll without a puppeteer to make it function again. They would whisper with quite, almost fearful voices. "What happened?" "Why doesn't he talk?" All those stupid, pitiful questions would ring through the halls. I would simply stare back at them, just sitting and waiting, waiting for it all to be finished.

They would look at me, shaking their heads in defeat, no that kid is hopeless. Then, one night when no one was around to see it all, I would get up and walk to the window, opening it slowly, afraid the sound might alarm the guards. The moon would light my eyes, he would smile at me, and I'll smile back. Then silent as the night itself he would come, to give me one last gift. I would smile at him, and he at me, it would be a mutual understanding, like it always has been.

"_Broken tools are to be thrown away."_ He would whisper at me. I would answer back

" _Yes, broken tools need to be disposed off."_

I would smile one last time for him then he would smile as well, so beautiful, so perfect.

The next day the doctors would come in to give me my breakfast like every morning, the look at the far left corner that I used as my place, the place in which I would sit, being fed, bathed and dressed. They would look at each other with hope, their hopeless case had moved! It was sitting in the windowsill, smiling softly, eyes slightly closed. They would call my name, smiles on their faces, but I wouldn't react, like usual, so they come close, one would raise their hand to brush mine, to try and make me look at them.

They would frown upon the cold contact. Calling my name even louder, then finally one would be brave enough to shake my shoulder. Then... my head would fall to the side,

Then… my lips would color red as the blood floods out,

Then… my eyes would stare not seeing at the ceiling,

They would all scream in terror, alarming everyone in the building,

Then… I would smile my brightest smile…

The sun that hit my eyes force me back to reality, I'm sitting on the grass, and he is sitting next to me, softly singing. And I smile at him, agreeing with him in every way possible…

"_It's all right to cry a little, _

_thinking back on the sweet faint past._

_The light is shining all the way to your feet,_

_raise your head, this is the daybreak we've waited so long for._

_At that time, you still didn't know what it meant _

_but now you understand _

_It's a waste to even bother with those too late to save, _

_It's what we do from now that's important._

_The next sun has risen._

_So are you ready or not? _

_The future is relying on our sense. "_

**Well, it has been a rather long while right? Sorry for that, well that's another chapter down, not the end yet, don't know how much will follow after though…**

**Until then **


	11. Tad to late

After that faithful night, weeks passed. Him and me, meeting every night on that hill and me like a routine. Sometimes we would talk to each other, discussed about all kind of possibilities, possibilities on the best way of hunting, to kill, to be useful to another. Most nights we would sit quietly on that hill, our hill, and just think. Thinking about ways to dispose of all the those pitiful fools, dispose of those who didn't understand that there isn't a place for useless tools. And then there are the nights we would go hunting, the nights I like the best.

Just him me and the prey, desperate to get away from the inclosing sand, to get away from the harsh laugh of the wind. All in fain though, we leave no traces, at least not that much. Just a beautiful blood red flower like patron, were the once human shaped being was caught.

Yes, all went for the better after that pitiful night. Stumbling into that blond loudmouthed fool I get transferred back to the present. We arrived at the place where our mission will start. We're supposed to escort some water village people to the tea country. Sakura still watches me with fear and Kakashi still watches me closely. It annoyed me to no end, but I could handle it.

My lovely team stopped and stared at an open spot in the forest. Sakura's shaking, as is Naruto. Even from down here I can smell their fear. I smile, it reminds me so much of all those who became my prey. Fear was something that worked addicting, once you tasted it with mouthfuls, there was nothing left that could give you that much satisfaction as that.

Itachi of course was the first to introduce me to its addictive luring. But back then; I still was to stupid to realize what he offered me. I didn't want it, I tried to get away from it. But then again, fear is so much better when you are the one causing it. That lesson was one Orochimaru taught me, and I own him that. He taught me the art of inflicting all kinds of fear, fear for your life, fear for the live of others, fear for your superiors. But the best of all was the fear they felt for you, and you alone. I think Orochimaru regretted it that he thought me this art, as even he eventually fell victim to me.

Back in those days, I used to drink fear with mouthfuls, never getting enough, never putting it to an end. When I was pulled back into the light I also lost my daily dose. They still feared me, yes, but it wasn't on such a great scale as it was before. Now I couldn't just pick out on of those pitiful humans and suck them dry of fear until nothing was left to use anymore. No, I had to become more careful, tasting it only in small doses. And it annoyed me to no end. It was like when on a warm summer day your locked in a room full of water and your only allowed to see the small drops slide down the glass of water, never able to touch it or to even wet your lips. It hurt me, but never killed me just yet.

But now, I was back in the game, together with Gaara we managed to get twice even three times as much fear, than when we corporate on our own. Or secret was to pick out the prey carefully, young couples, old people, adults. Children? Yes, sometimes we picked out some children, not that often though. It was much more fun to let them grow up, wanting to get revenge at those who did that to their parents, their friends, their family. Much like my brother did, pity I never really seen him that much in my life, I think we could have been great friends.

My lovely team again pulls me back to reality. Sakura seemed to have some kind of mental breakdown. Sitting, probably just let herself slip to the ground, and staring at that open spot. Naruto's trying, and falling I might add, to get her to stand up again. Kakashi is also starting at the spot, but whit a better-concealed mask, still I can see his fear clearly radiating from every pore.

Curiosity getting the better of me I slip in front of Kakashi only to be confronted with a smeared out red puddle, I kneel before it, looking at it closer. In some parts the red was a murky brown, close to black even. Twigs and small leaves stuck out in funny places. In the middle of the puddle lays parts of what once used to be in one piece. Or so I assume. I scoot even closer, ignoring the calls of my teammates, this, whatever it was interested me. Looking at it closer I recognized some of the mangled pieces that probably could go of for a hand, if you bent most of the fingers the other way. I traveled the form up, up where his head should have been glimmered metal. I reached forward it and pulled it lose from the pile.

It seemed like it was one of the nearby villages then. I trace the cool metal with my fingers. It felt smooth, for the most of it anyway, on some places dried blood flaked of where I touched it. I smile as realization dawns upon me, this used to be one of our prey, I never stayed to admire the art we left until now. Always leaving before the birds would attack the meat. And I realized, I realized I missed out on a lot, for this was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. I turn around ripping my gaze away from its beauty, the metal protector still gripped in my hand I turn towards my team.

Kakashi looks at me with disgust. Naruto and Sakura only stare. Lazily I lift up my hand, I see Sakura cringe, Naruto and Kakashi both reach for there shuriken.

"Water village." I say smile growing wider on my face. "It seems we where a tad too late."

**Finally started to write again. Don't have a beta-reader at the moment so bear with me . Sasuke seems to get more psycho with every chap don't he? Do you think I should make the rating of this story higher?**

**Until then**


	12. Your Messiah

The nights calmed me more then I would ever thought possible. The nights now spend with the Uchia prodigy, filled with screams, cries, hopeless struggling. It all put me in an almost hypnotic state of ease. The raging monster inside me was basking in delight, giving me enough control to keep it deep inside of me. Even giving me the control of fooling people that I've become a tamed tiger. A carefully sharpened tool, where all the rough edges, those where you could harm yourself on, where removed. A totally harmless weapon to be used as one wanted. I would've become annoyed; angry even in the old days, I was not a tool to be taken lightly. But the Uchia proved to be more then a nice experiment to watch how far I could push. Yes, it even taught me the art of using people's weakness for the wounded people. I acted more civil to others now, given them the impression that I tamed the beast inside of me, that I, deep down, was just a misunderstood, frightened child. They fell for it, every single one of them. They pitied the small, helpless child they thought I where, giving me warm looks as in helping me, showing me that they understood and cared, I smiled back at them, that smile becoming on of my most trusted weapons. They all fall for it, they all did, bunch of stupid, useless humans, but deep down I sneered at them, wanting to rip out those eyes shining with sympathy. Gouging them out with my bare hands, then shredding them from the inside out, coloring the ground and walls oh so beautifully. But I kept it all inside, continued rewarding them with my smiles, getting their trust and even their friendship. And although it sometimes was almost unbearable to keep up, it gave me so much more power and delight when those confused eyes looked up at me when I finally crushed them in my carefully waved web.

Oh yes, my little Uchia proved to be more useful then I gave him credit for. And in reward I gave him the desperate cries of our prey, he needs it, he craves it even, wanting more and more never having enough. And I'm more then willing to give it too him. To see his eyes light up red like the blood he just spilled. Watching his perfect craved smile I sometimes wonder where he learned that perfect smile off his. It's sweet like honey and candy but more deadly then his feared sharigan. So perfect, so deadly, I hate it.

I hate how he is so broken yet still somehow perfect. I hate it how he walks dazed through the day, not caring that others pity him, then turning deadly as soon as the moon comes up. I hate him, his smile, his voice, his eyes I hate all of it. Yet I can't put myself to neglect him, to tell him to go away when we meet upon our hill. I can't tell him to go back, never return, I tried, I tried dozens of times. I told him to go away, that he was useless not the tool I needed, that he was not needed anymore, he left, his head down, eyes glowing not with the desire for blood, no, it was something else, something deeper, something I can't put my finger on. I watched him go that night, walking down, stumbling now and then, moving further and further away from me. I settled my eyes upon the moon, our faithful companion through or nightly activities. He did nothing to comfort me, looking almost offended. The wind that I came to like, laughed harshly into my ears, harder and harder. I squished my eyes shut, putted my hands against my ears, still I could hear the taunting laughter, surrounding me, enveloping me until its crazy laughter was all I heard. I stumbled down the hill, away from the wind, away from our sacred place; I must have tripped sometime, since when I finally opened my eyes I was staring into his cursed red ones, the moon smiling softly above him now and then vanishing in the thin nightly clouds.

I thought he would curse me, curse me for sending him away, I expected him to slam me into a near tree, kill me then and there for disposing him and moments later come stumbling down like some low life fool. Instead he helped me up and stared too the moon, smiling gently, no anger, no sadness. I tried to ask him why, but couldn't seem to form the words. That night we spend on the foot of our hill, Sitting and staring at our companion, that night being more peaceful then any other time.

That night I decided to never tell him to leave anymore, but I did, not even two weeks later it happened again. After a night filled with screams and terror we returned to say goodbye to the moon and watch how the sun would push him away, making place for another dull daytime. We settle down on the now dried grass, staring wordlessly as these changes took place.

"Gaara" he said, I looked at his lips, small patched of dried blood flickered off slowing, I smiled at that, he was particular bloodthirsty this night.

"Gaara." he said again, this time I lifted my eyes to his. I guess he was just waiting for my permission to continue to speak, I smiled silently granting him too speak what was on his mind.

"Gaara-kun, could we, maybe, just for today, just once, could we could we stay here?"

He was looking down at his hands, they, I noticed, where trembling slightly. I raised my non-existing brow at that. He wanted to stay here?

I laughed at him, laughed at his pathetic request. My smile grew wider when I saw his fearful sharigan waver for a bit at that. Breaking him a little more was all I needed to fill superior over him once again.

"Why, Sasuke-kun, may I ask you want to stay here?" The nervous swallowing of the Uchia next to me, must have been the greatest thing I've seen so far. "Why do you want to stay here? During the day when the sun makes the rules? You do realize we can't exist under his watchful eye right?"

Normally I wouldn't have spoken so much, I prefer to keep my speech short, right to the goal, that way, I found, the uneasiness of my victims always grew larger. Not failing this time as well. His red eyes wavered once more before fading to black, the now risen sun reflecting in his dull eyes.

Deep down I accepted him to leave now; go back to his daily live, where the sun and his, so called, friends ruled the day. Where he could smile his perfect smile, I loved that smile so much. Sometimes I would follow him, look at his face when he greeted his team members. That smile always gave me enough courage to face the sun filled day, he never noticed me, or he just didn't care. Either way, it was my addiction, my drugs, my most needed, no, not needed, I didn't need him, I didn't, I did not need him. It was just something I liked seeing, I liked it, not needed it. I, Gaara, did not need some broken tool, a disgusting broken tool, thrown away by others and still, somehow, picked out of the trash bin to use some more, disgusting. A blade with a dulled edge, useless, deadly, more perfect then it should have been, so beautiful.

I looked up again; I got lost my thoughts again. Somehow I only let my guard down when around him. I frowned I needed to be more careful around him, after all, the hand that feeds the pet most often did get bitten, especially when the feeder kicked the pet around.

He was still looking down, hands clenching, lips trembling. I wanted to sneer at him, tell him to get lost, get out of our sacred place; something kept me from doing so. Was I growing weak around him? Was this pathetic thing perhaps, deluding me? My frown grew bigger, was he the one using me? Was he all this weeks, months even, the one that controlled me, held the strings of our actions?

My mouth tasted sour; like that one time that Naruto kid knocked me down too the ground. He used me, that bastard, he used me, all those weeks, he was only testing me, trying me, pushing me to see how much longer I could hold it, all this time I was thinking to do this to him, was he all this time doing it to me? Was I really that easily fooled?

Clenching my hands until my nails drew blood I turned to him, wanting to, intending to hurt him like he hurt me, no one, no one pulled my strings, I was the puppeteer not some fake, broken tool. That's when I saw; saw another crack forming in my perfect tool. I held my breath while watching, so this must be what I missed before, it filled me with something odd, I can't place, guilt? Sorrow? I don't know, all I knew that this was pure bliss, this is what I needed all this time, and this was the perfection I was longing for.

Crystal water marred his face, skin pale as the moon, eyes darker then I've ever seen, his mouth still painted red in some places. I watched the clear drops welling up from the black, getting larger until the black gave in and let the liquid travel downwards, past pale skin, blotches of red, some decided to join with the water, turning an interesting pink, down, down, all the time going down, before falling freely towards the warming earth.

Transfixed I stared at him, so beautiful, so perfect, so broken. I trailed the water with my eyes over and over again. It was like staring at a burning forest, knowing that you should move, do something before the flames would caught up with you, doing more damage then anything possible, but still, somehow, stand still and stare at it. Hearing the small cracks of dying twigs surrounding you, the roar of the flames closing in, the warmth licking at your skill, knowing, that if you would keep on standing there, you wouldn't survive, but the beauty of it all keeping you to stand, raise your head even more, drinking in the sounds and feelings around you, beautiful, deadly.

Sometime between me staring at him and losing tracks of my thoughts once again he must have sunken down to the ground. Sitting like a doll whose strings where suddenly released, crumpled in a useless pile of limps and clothes. And he kept sitting that way, unmoving apart from the shudders that seemed to rip through him, drawing out more liquefied live force.

All I did for awhile was stare at him in a mix of admiration, wonder and disgust for my little tool. After standing there for some more minutes I sunk down right next to him, like that one time I first found him here. I hoped that he like that time would pull himself together, that he would prove once again that he could be broken further, I hoped that he somehow still kept it together, I needed him to stay, no not needed it was deeper then need, somehow, this broken tool in front of him kept him sharp, it let him so shine even brighter in compression too that. That broken thing, disgusting, useless, so perfectly crafted, still deadly, beautiful, useful to me perhaps.

The sun didn't comfort us; he never did, only stared down at us in distaste. I raised my eyes to him, there wasn't much time anymore, we needed to leave here, act civil towards everyone the sun cared for, and then, after these twelve hours of light we could rise again, rise together with the downfall of the sun, making the world ours again, drenching it in red and screams and so much more.

Looking down at my companion again I noticed he calmed down, either way broken, or mended for another day again. Sand pushed his head back up, knowing that, if he did was broken, I didn't want to touch it. I never wanted to touch something broken again. His face still held the traces of his latest break down; traces of salt had made their way down his face. I smiled when I saw the same determination shine upon his face, eyes filled with pure hatred, deadly yet somehow so innocent, so sweet.

Never I will send this tool away again. I want to keep you close; to see every little crack that will form in the future. I reached out to him brushing his hair out of his eyes, making him look at me with those perfect, shaped eyes of his.

"I'm going to keep my promise with you this time, Uchia, you'll see. "

His eyes lighted red again; I smiled back at my perfect tool. He was still somehow intact. I stood up, brushing small specks of dirt of my clothes; I glanced up at the sun again, smiling even brighter when I saw his annoyed look. He lost another time, again we, the night, had one, even when we had to keep low when he was watching, we held more power then he ever could. Turning back to my Uchia I reached out my hand to him. With a small smile he griped it tightly pulling himself up for another day once again. It filled me with power, made me feel superior once again.

"Uchia."

He looked at me eyes slightly confused, the sun gleaming in them, making his eyes look even brighter, even more perfect then I knew they where. He needed me, more then I needed him, and that was such a majestic feeling. Smiling at him I continued.

"This hand that you grip, will be your messiah from now on."

--TBC--

I know that its been a long time since I last updated, for that I give my deepest apologize. Too all my readers and reviewers, thank you so much for all the kind words, I never considered to be any good at all, you all gave me so much love, thank you all. Especially for you guys I tried to make this chapter longer then normal, I hope you all enjoyed it. Until we meet again …


	13. With no end

It all felt like a long lasting dream, all those nights filled with red liquid, filled with screams of people all ages,  
young ones old ones, it didn't matter, I didn't care, as long their sweet songs filled my ears,  
taking me further and further away from reality. The days I spend in a daze, not caring what I did then,  
nor caring if I stumbled behind more and more. The days where shorter then I remembered, the nights  
where everlasting as long as I spend them with my red angel, as long as he was with me,  
I didn't need anything else, or at least, in that dreamlike state I don't.

I smile lazily, closing my eyes as I lean back to let the moon caress my face gently.  
This was something I never thought possible, after being hauled back to the burning light  
all had seemed so lifeless, so colourless, it all seemed not worthy to live for any longer. But now,  
now when the nights where painted red, now when the nights where filled with the sweetest cries,  
all I could do was smile and follow him, my angel, somehow. At first this, disgusted me, I, Uchia Sasuke,  
degraded to some love sick following puppy. I didn't need others, I didn't need some one to follow,  
I could go on by myself, like I did all those years back then. I tried to push him away from my life,  
tried to push him away from this dream I wanted all for myself.

But these nights, nights that I had to spend alone, they started to terrify me.  
I would go out like I normally would, creeping along the forests, searching for my most needed drugs,  
when I found them I would tear them apart, the night would colour blood red, their songs would reach  
my ears, but it wasn't the same, never the same. I could not find to satisfy myself on their songs,  
nor on the red liquid tracing my arms. When the moon would leave me to the sun I would feel vulnerable.  
I tried to go trough the day, finishing my chores or missions when they would come up. It never worked.  
I couldn't find release in the nights any longer; all this build up tension left me quivering with tears.  
My team mates would gather me up, holding me in their arms, lifting me up, smiling at me, hoping,  
thinking I finally let my emotions free. Telling me it was okay to cry, it was okay to feel, they would be  
there for me, they where my friends. And all I could do was to cry desperately for release,  
holding onto their shoulders and praying for my angel to come back and rescue me.  
When the night would come again, I didn't even try to find my release knowing it wouldn't come,  
not without my other growing addiction by my side.

Gaara.

But every time, when I felt like I should give up, give in into this void. He would come back,  
sneer at me, telling me to get up and follow him. Without question I would follow him, almost stumbling  
to keep up with him. He would look back over his shoulder, glaring when I made to much noise.  
I didn't care, I didn't notice like I normally would. All I could see where his green glowing eyes,  
eyes like mine, yet so different at the same time. He would lead me through the forest, over the rivers  
until we reached our prey. We would hunt together. I was clumsy at first, smearing the red liquid  
all over my face like some toddler. He would smile at me then, that beautiful smile that promised  
even more songs for that night, and soon I fell back in my old ways.  
Drawing out the songs with ease, bathing in them, all well the moon watched us move  
in a forbidden dance, colouring the world a beautiful red and black. He would decide where to go,  
he would decide what to colour and whom to use, he would decide when the night was coloured enough  
and when we needed to head back to our hill.

I must admit that even though I needed the songs, that I craved for the liquid to colour me blood red,  
I enjoyed sitting on our hill the most. Somehow it was the most peaceful, staring down at my birthplace  
well being illuminated by the silver moon. Sometimes we would speak to one another, speaking of our dreams  
of how the future should be; never did we speak of our hopes, for as hopes where for the weak.  
At first I didn't quite understand the difference between hopes and dreams, for they had always been  
the same to me, but he, my angel, he told me when I had asked.

" _Dreams are there to chase, dreams are there to be fulfilled through out actions,  
whereas hopes are none more then pitiful cries towards the sky, hopes don't require actions,  
hopes are for the weak Sasuke, for they do not call for action."_

And I remembered, keeping his words close to my heart, he never spoke much, but when he did,  
it was important not to forget. And even when we didn't fill the night with dreams, I hold them close in my heart.  
Bathing myself into it, for I knew there would come again a time, a time in where my angel had to leave me,  
a time in where I desperately hold onto the shoulders of those I despised, at least when I was fully drenched into it all,  
I could hang on long enough for him to come back and guide me towards our dreams once more.

Even now, when the moons light our faces, I bathed in his presence. I glanced towards my companion.  
I smiled softly, knowing that he somehow kept me together, that as soon he would leave, I would collapse,  
he was the one that kept me up, he was the one I lived for, even though I had hated this, even when  
I knew I shouldn't lean upon him like I did, I smiled for him, I would breath for him, my angel.

I let my eyes travel upwards his face, his eyes where dark, closed, furrowed. I swallowed nervously.  
This wasn't how it was supposed to be, I didn't like his eyes looking this way, the looked distant, filled with disgust,  
for what I did not know. He forced myself to look away; it was better not to upset him further,  
even when I didn't know what had him upset in the first place. It soon became clear to me though.

"_Sasuke"_

I lifted my eyes to him; eagerly waiting for him to fill me with his wise lessons,  
perhaps we would talk some more about our dreams tonight?

But it was none of those, his eyes where filled with disgust, he looked at me like he did towards our prey.

Lowly, disgusting scum.

"_Sasuke, get out of my sight. I no longer need you to fill the nights with me. I never needed you,  
you are disgusting, filthy, not worthy of my presence, go before I will dispose of you, like the filth you are."_

I felt myself freeze, eyes growing wide and chest stopping to move. I felt like I did when my brother told me to leave.  
_"Run little brother, run!"_ I did not know how, all I knew that I lay gasping at the bottom of the hill  
when I came too. How could I delude myself so? How could I even think I was worth being at his presence?  
After all, I was a broken tool, he was still perfectly sharp, and he would never grow dull like I had.  
My fists curled themselves inwards, drawing grass and mud with them, until I had them clutched  
so tightly I was afraid to break my fingers. How did I let this happen? I should have known better,  
I should have left long ago; I should never have come to him, never should have gone to this perfect angel.  
I did not cry, as I knew I deserved this, I pushed myself up. I faced the moon alone then,  
but the moon didn't face me. He was focused on my angel; he was still at the top of the hill.  
How I longed for him to come down towards me, tell me to get up and follow him,  
as he led me into a night with gentle lullabies.

He was not on the hill, my angel, he was not there.

I looked at the top of the hill, not there, Gaara, he wasn't there. Did he leave already?  
But that couldn't be, we, he never left before the sun rose up, and the sun would not be here  
for another good three hours. I searched desperately for a sign, a glimpse of him, somewhere anywhere.

When I found him he was clutching his head, his eyes shut tight, for something he didn't want to see.

Probably me, he didn't want to see me. I swallowed thickly, reaching out slowly to touch his shoulder.  
I feared of what I might see into his eyes, I did not know if I could handle another one of his hateful glares.  
He lifted his head slowly, I sucked in more air, knowing that I would not be able to draw more in when  
I would meet his hate filed eyes. But what I saw wasn't hate, nor was it disgusted.  
It was filled with need, need for what I did not know, but it made me smile, I felt it tuck on the corners of my lips.  
He didn't hate me, I was still needed, I wasn't disposed of yet, there still was time, time for use to share our dreams.  
I reached out with both hands now, holding him up in a tight embrace as we watched the moon from the foot of our hill.  
It was then that I realized I would kill for him to stay with him, I would do anything to stay close to my angel.

I despised the day when I felt most vulnerable; it was the day of my families massacre.  
When I was younger I was filled with dread and sorrow on this day, but not anymore. I felt disgusted by myself,  
why did I not ask brother what he felled when doing this, more then asking why? Because if I had asked him this,  
maybe I would have understood him earlier, if he told me how beautiful the songs where mom and dad had song,  
how pretty the dark wood had looked when it was coloured crimson, if only I had asked, maybe then  
I would have followed him that day. Maybe then I would not be broken the way I was, maybe if only. If only, Itachi.

That night I hunted in honour of him, painting the world with red how he had done,  
how he would have liked it, I tried to let them sing louder then ever, maybe then he could hear,  
hear wherever he was. When we went to our hill, I did not speak, I gazed up on the moon,  
wondering if Itachi was watching the moon as well now, if he had heard the songs I composed for him today.  
And suddenly I knew, I knew I could not leave this place anymore, I could not walk down and face another day,  
not without him, Gaara, at my side. I would not survive. I needed him, just for today.  
Clenching my hands I asked for what I feared the answer.

"Gaara."

He didn't look at me, at least not where I wanted him to look at,  
He stared at my lips, which I noted where still painted blood red.

"Gaara"

This time he looked me in my eyes, granting me permission to continue. I swallowed,  
clenching my hands into tight fists. They trembled, knowing what would come.

"Gaara-kun, could we, maybe, just for today, just once, could we could we stay here?"

I grimaced at my own question, knowing how ridicules it sounded, but knowing I would have to ask it,  
I could not go through another day alone anymore. My hands trembled; they quivered, moved without control.  
I knew my angel would hate me now, hate me for asking, hate me for even thinking about it.  
When he answered I felt cold and distant. Hating myself more then I ever thought possible.

"_Why, Sasuke-kun, may I ask you want to stay here?" Why do you want to stay here?  
During the day when the sun makes the rules? You do realize we can't exist under his watchful eye right?" _

I swallowed thickly, blinking unseeing eyes, I knew I had to leave; I knew I should get up,  
smile shyly and turn around. Walk back to the day, to only come back in the dark, when we, the dark,  
ruled and not longer the sun and his alleys. I felled numb, I felt more broken than ever.  
I shook, not longer knowing if this was from pain or fear or maybe a combination of both.  
I did not feel how the clear tears rose up and marred my cheeks. I did not notice the pink water  
dropping down towards the ground, nor did I notice anything else then this numbing feeling.  
I did not know how long I stayed this way, but when I felt the stinging rays of the sun  
I suddenly knew that somehow I would pull through, I _could_ do this; I _had_ to do this,  
it would be alright as long I could come back here again when the day ended.  
I raised my eyes to watch the village still slumbering below us, how I hated that town.  
If it wasn't for them I could be here all the time, not caring if it was day or night, light or dark,  
sun or moon, if it wasn't for them, I think I could be truly happy.

Soft sand tickled my cheeks as I felt my head being pushed back, almost gently so.  
I met my angel eyes, feeling a slight pang of fear rising deep within me, what if he disposed of me now?  
What if he had enough of this broken tool, I wonder why he kept me for so long, for I was a broken,  
useless tool, dulled and used. When I finally dared to luck at him, I was met with a smile.  
A smile so perfectly cut out that one should draw back in fear, but not me, not I, I let myself get drenched into it.  
When he stuck out his hand to me, I smiled back at him, griping it firmly with all my strength,  
hanging onto it like a lifeline, my angel, my saviour.

"_Sasuke."_

His voice startled me, it was more beautiful then any song I ever heard, more memorizing then  
the desperate struggling from our prey, more hypnotizing then the liquid red painting my lips.  
He pulled me up, holding me close to him, I felt his skin, sandy, scratching but more perfect then anything.  
I leaned back into his chest, basking into this feeling, wanting, whishing I could stay like this for over.  
For that would be all I needed to pull through another day, all I needed to keep my sanity,  
all I needed to feel useful. Our hands still woven tighter, into a tight grasp, he continued speaking.  
He whispered in my ear, as if he was afraid the wind would take it away from him, making it so it never reached my ears.

"_This hand that you grip, will be your messiah from now on." _

All I did was smile, knowing that as long as I would be here, nothing would change,  
knowing that with him, my angel, by my side, I still could be useful for another day.

And we watched as the sun rose above us as we moved together, moved on to a future with no end.

The End

* * *

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this story,  
a story that started out as an experiment a long time ago, and was meant to be only one or two chapters long.  
I was delighted that people seemed to like it, and I let myself get swapped in more and more.

I do apologize for the long gaps between uploading, if I ever where to write some more,  
which I do not know for sure, I will write chapters in advance before uploading them.  
It takes a lot on my mind to write this way, a sort of different mindset one could call it.  
I hope I didn't mess up to bad in the Grammatik I do not have a beta-reader, nor do I speak English.  
And even when I did so, I do hope you liked reading it, however mistake laden it was

Until we meet again…


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